Relationships are one of the most beautiful things you can get into, won’t you agree? It’s such an overwhelming feeling when you have someone to care for you. And when you know that no matter how bad your day in the outside world goes, there will be one special person who’s still going to smile at you and give you that warm hug. To have someone by your side no matter what, is the most accomplished you will feel in your personal life, trust us!
But, there are times when a relationship ends up not working out in the best manner and it results in a breakup. Whatever might be the reason for the end of a beautiful relationship, the aftermath of it is very devastating. We so wish breakups were as simple as saying, “Thank you, well, next please” and skipping all the excruciating days that follow. While most of us who’ve faced a breakup have emerged out of it (after facing the dark demons, of course!) there’s a research that shows how the ending of a romantic relationship can actually lead to gruesome intrusive thoughts, insomnia, and also affect the immunity levels of one’s body (1). While it’s impossible to eradicate the emotional pain one goes through after a breakup in their life, there seem to be ways through which we can get over a breakup in a better way. And it isn’t something we made up for you, it’s the verdict of science peeps! So, here we bring to you three ways according to science which will help you deal with the breakup aftermath. Read on.
The Journal of Experimental Psychology published a study after testing an array of cognitive strategies to help deal with a breakup and came up with three best ways to do it (2). To conduct the study, the researchers brought together 24 heartbroken individuals aged between 20 and 37. All of them were in a relationship for an average of 2.5 years. And these were the people who had either broken off from their relationships voluntarily or had been dumped by their partners — they were upset and yes, they still loved their exes! They were selected based on their answers in a questionnaire. So, according to this study, the three best ways to deal with a breakup are… read on mates.
The First Strategy
The first way was to reappraise their ex negatively. The participants were requested to think about what they never liked about their ex-lovers. For example, their displeasing habits, behaviors, etc. The whole intention behind asking them to do this was that the more one recalls what they hated the most in their ex-lovers, the more content and peaceful they felt that it’s all over and they’ll not have to bear such annoying habits anymore. This helped them to feel good about their breakup and helped lower the effect of the blow they felt because of the breakup in their lives. This strategy proved that it’s effective as the results showed that the participants felt their love for their ex-lovers lower down. However, this strategy also left a few of the participants feeling very low as it took them onto a recall journey they couldn’t get off from.
The Second Strategy
The second way was to inculcate the reappraisal feelings of love. The participants were made to read, “It’s alright to still love someone I’m not with anymore.” They were made to read this many times in a day. Reading this line helped them shift focus from the evil impact that their partner left on them to a more positive outlook about the situation they were in now. This strategy helped the participants feel good about the condition and not just sit and while about it. This strategy helped the participants understand the importance of “acceptance” which is very important when a person wants to move on from a breakup in life. Agree, or not?
The Third Strategy
The third way was to positively distract the participants. They were asked and even made to think about things that were no way related to the world of relationships. For example, they were asked about what was their favorite food and why. Just like how we distract ourselves so that we don’t overeat desserts and suffer from a sugar rush; maybe food could help you get over a broken heart as well, right? Although this strategy didn’t really help one feel good about the breakup, it, however, helped one feel more pleasant about thinking about other things of life.
From the above-mentioned strategies, thinking about the negative traits of your ex proved to be the most effective way to get over heartbreak. Whereas, distraction proved to be the most effective way to feel good and happy about oneself. We think that these ways will help all those who suffer from unreciprocated love they feel about someone who isn’t in their lives anymore. What do you think about the results of this study? Do you agree with them? Let us know in the comments below.